Squabbling with our parents seems like something we should have grown out of by now, but a quick poll of women over the age of 20 reveals that we are never too old to scream "SHUT UP MUM" down the phone before we slam down the receiver. I asked people to get in touch on social media if they still fought with their parents and the response was astounding: so many of us are still disagreeing with the human beings who brought us into existence, often on a regular basis.
Fiona, 32, says she does. I am being treated like a child so I tend to act like one. Elaine, 33, fights with her American parents because they voted for Trump. I was just so disappointed when I found out that they both voted Trump. On election night and the morning after, I felt numb and cried non-stop for hours.
Ashna, 24, still lives at home with her parents — which of course is happening more often these days. Living together can preserve the dynamic an adult had with their parents as a teenager, and that can cause conflict.
Rosie, 32, fights with her parents about politics, feminism, their life choices and their divorce. Every fight is a reminder that we don't have that, and then I think, they could drop dead tomorrow and that will have been the last thing you ever said. So that's a guilt trip. Sandra, 38, fights with her parents about their life decisions. Or am I annoyed because a someone said something rude at school, b I have a stressful project coming up, c I need a snack, or d all of the above?
We're prone to take out our frustrations on the people who are closest to us instead of getting to the heart of the matter. And like, maybe you just need a snack. Try to imagine if the roles were reversed. How would you feel if your kid or anyone, for that matter was yelling at you? Pretty terrible, probably. Talk to your mom calmly and with respect; she deserves it, as do you. If a rough day at school is fueling your rage, think about your mom's day.
Maybe she's in a bad mood, too yes, parents are allowed to be off their game. This whole you-growing-up thing is as weird for her as it is for you. If she wants to make up for lost time or rebuild your relationship then see if you can find it in your heart to forgive her. Christine Northam is an experienced counsellor working with individuals and couples coping with relationship difficulties.
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Recommended How to deal with the signs that your relationship is in trouble Is an open relationship ever a good idea? It can be hard to watch your parents fight. Even if they disagree, it can still make you feel upset and even anxious. However, it's important to remember that everyone argues from time to time.
Even though they're fighting, it doesn't mean they're going to get a divorce or that they'll stay mad at each other for very long. They may occasionally say things they don't mean, but more often than not, it will pass. If it bothers you when your parents argue, consider telling them how you feel. When people are emotional, they sometimes forget to be aware of how their conflict could affect them. Though you may be nervous to tell them how you feel, it allows them to reassure you and open up a healthy dialogue.
If the fighting persists, finding healthy ways to cope can be a great way to protect your mental health. This could be as simple as removing yourself from situations when you feel uncomfortable or talking about it with another adult you trust.
Growing up isn't easy. Sometimes you may feel misunderstood or like your parents don't give you enough independence. If you often find yourself arguing with your parents, you need to explore where your anger is coming from. Nobody is perfect, and your parents are no exception. If you feel let down by a parent or like they aren't supportive of you, being able to talk about it with them in a calm state can help alleviate conflict in a healthy way. Bottling up your emotions can lead to more explosive arguments that are harder to work through as a family.
Sometimes it may seem like they're trying to stop you from living your life, but they may be afraid you're going to make a mistake that could hurt you in the long run. If they didn't try to protect you, then they wouldn't be very good parents, would they? Remember, your parents don't want to steal your joy or freedom.
They want to make sure you won't get hurt, perhaps like they have been in the past. Communication is key. When you talk to your parents about your feelings, you may find you're able to mend fences with them, so you get into fewer arguments.
A respectful conversation will get you much closer to understanding each other. Explain how their actions made you feel, and be willing to compromise in ways that will help everyone involved feel respected and comfortable. If you don't feel safe confronting your parents about your feelings, consider speaking to a therapist, family member, or guidance counselor. By having someone who supports you in your corner, you may feel more confident and cope in healthy ways. Your safety is the number one priority.
Siblings frequently fight with each other. Being close in age often increases the likelihood of arguments. For the most part, siblings learn to get along as they get older. After all, it can be difficult to be around someone all day, every day. As mentioned above, personalities clash. People can be stubborn, especially during childhood. So, it is likely you will argue with your sibling every once and a while.
It's understandable if you lose patience with your sibling when they do something that bothers you especially if it seems to happen often. However, rather than lashing out or raising your voice, you can expect better results by approaching the situation more productively.
Talk to them. Explain how much their actions bother you, and they may see things your way.
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